Recently, I was stressed (again). So I listed all I’m doing (on a daily, weekly and monthly basis). Then I listed all that I wish I were doing and all that I wish I weren’t doing. Then I listed my priorities. If I had a few more days to kill, I’d add to my already existing lists (what to blog list, how to save $ list, bucket list, fix-it list, grocery list, to do list, to read list, to watch list, to learn list, to write about list). Then I’d add lists within my lists: all the people I want to call (many of you are probably on that list), all the prayers I want God to answer, all the places I want to visit before I die… you get the point. I have a lot of things on my mind and I like lists.
The Go Go’s (and I) sang a song in the 80’s, “I am the girl of 100 lists…” Yup, that’s me, to a “T.” Lists help me feel organized and in control, except when I have so many lists, I can’t keep track anymore. I think I’m getting to that stage. Maybe I’ve gone beyond.
So why do I make these lists? Well, it is a form of writing for this writer. But I suppose there’s a deeper issue; I don’t know? Maybe you can help me here? It’s stressing me out to just think about it. I’m tempted to list the possibilities.
For now, the bottom line is this: God created me this way. He created a passion in me, to want to experience much. Often this feels like a curse; I’ve become a Jack-Of-All-Trades and master of none, a jumbled mess of wants. But more than a curse, I am trying to see it as a blessing. And to write helps me go there, to go to God with the swirl of thoughts in my head. And to live in eternity gives me time to do it all.
The key is to do things for the right reasons (for me, it’s to glorify God), prioritize, and relax. There, just a list of 3. I’m getting better already.