I’ve been thinking about how we measure friendship. Usually it’s: who shows up when everything falls apart? And yes, these friends matter deeply. But what about the ones who also show up when everything goes right?

There’s a different kind of courage in celebrating someone else. It requires humility and an open heart. It asks us to quiet the comparison and judgement within, to hush the little voice that says, What about me? Grief gathers sympathy easily. Joy sometimes creates distance.

I’ve noticed that when something good happens, I feel strangely exposed. Like if I say “yay,” someone might hear “look at me.” But the friends who lean in anyway, who see the value behind what got that win, who clap, who text, who say, “This is wonderful,” This feels especially close. Because joy makes me, makes us vulnerable, too.

So this is a quiet thank you to the friends who celebrate. I see you. And I’m prayerfully learning to be that kind of friend back.